Teddy Goes To New York

CruzNow, this is the big city Ted and people walk real fast, sometimes they even bump into you and don’t even apologize. The choo-choo runs underground here, so the rumble you hear isn’t an earthquake and yes, it does stop so you can get on … yes, it does stop Ted.

If you see a marquis that says “Live Nudes” it doesn’t mean as opposed to dead ones, it means instead of moving pictures … and you might hear people say words like “hell” and “damn” or even worse. Folks in the big city pretty much say what they mean, so don’t hurt your head trying to figure out what they are really trying to say. If tell you they don’t llke you, chances are they don’t. Sometimes when people run, they aren’t always exercising … someone might be chasing them so you might want to stand clear and not try to explain your fiscal policy or hand out a campaign button just then. Most of these folks are probably Democrats anyway, so you won’t be losing very much by giving it an “Aw shucks” shuffle and focusing on your shoe tops.
Many people here are fairly emotional about things, so your silver tongued logic may not work on, say, a guy standing in front of a bar who asks you for a buck to buy dinner. If someone living in a doorway tells you it’s his, it probably is. If anyone calls you “Sucka'”, talks about his “Homies” or refers to you as “Bro” just smile and keep walking. I wish I had the room here to tell you more about what you will encounter in this strange, enchanting land … the attitude, the morals, the New York values, but I think you’ll discover the rest for yourself by the time you’ve had your good suit cleaned and your stitches are ready to come out!

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